Let’s start with the obvious: it’s been a stressful week.
COVID-19 is wreaking havoc on our comfortable life routines – from changing the way we work (or whether we can work at all), how we raise our families (home school, anyone?), and how we interact with one another (6 feet away, please!).
Pour onto all of that change, uncertainty, and fear — an over-serving of work (an average of 12 hour days and all of it mission-critical). Hi, dumpster fire.
So let me say it again, it’s been a stressful week.
To give you a flavor, here’s some “feedback” from my new coworkers:
- “Mey, just because you are stressed out at work, doesn’t mean you can be a crazy B at home.” –[Identity Protected]
- “Momma, you work too much. Come play with me.” — Olivia, 4
- Immediate wailing at unprecedented volume — Orion, 2 (when I said I had to get back to work)
So how dare I share some tips on how I’m surviving?
Because the best tips can come from failure and reflection.
Because this is a reminder that I can do better because I have done better.
Because without having meditated at all, it could have been much worse.
So about this meditation…..
Ok, before you think, “ain’t nobody got time for that!” (because that was me a couple of months ago), contrary to what preconceived thoughts you have about meditation, even a minute is helpful.
Throw away all your assumptions that you need candles, a floor mat, incense, a big gong or have to say “namaste” or “ohm.”
It’s about taking that breath to reset before you react. It’s about taking a moment before you just “copy and paste” the stress directed to you from a supervisor and transfer it to your pup cause he’s barking while you are on a conference call or yell at your kids for, well….being kids.
What this looks like for me:
If I can, before I get on a very-likely-to-be stressful call, I do a 5 minute mediation using either Whil, Headspace or Peloton. Sometimes I focus on positivity. Other times, I focus on calming my anxiety or I think about gratitude or empathy. The five minutes really helps me from (over)reacting to various stressors on the call.
It is the difference between the negative thought of, “wow, that was a snarky comment” (a place of personal offense and judgment) and giving some grace: “oh, I hope they’re ok. They must be stressed out” (a place of empathy and understanding).
This stress management technique is less about time management, and more about energy management. Mood management.
One very real example (unrelated to COVID-19): I had a terrible morning dropping off Olivia. Not only did she tantrum over having to wear a uniform, but she added insult to injury by telling me that, “Momma, I don’t love you. I want another Momma.” Ouch.
If you’re wondering, yes – I drove to work ugly-crying (think snot, hiccups – the works).
When I got to my office and closed the door, I did a journaling meditation from Whil, where I listened to someone for a couple of minutes and wrote for three minutes on what I had absolutely had to get done on Monday (guess, what – nothing was truly time-sensitive) and what I wanted to get out of that Monday. In five minutes, I felt 100% better – and with purpose. For that Monday, I had one goal: get through the day being productive-enough and still have positive energy left for my toddlers – and with that intention, my day completely changed.
That’s the power of meditation.
What this could look like for you besides taking a class or using an app:
- Journaling (if you enjoy writing)
- Intentional hug breaks with your littles (5 min every hour) when you have to work at home (Thanks Olesja for this suggestion!)
- Taking a five minute walk and really thinking about each of your senses: what do you see, hear, smell, taste, feel?
- Making a quick list of all things that you’re grateful for
- Coloring
No matter the method, it’s about being present in the moment.
Presence over perfection.