New year, new resolutions, right?
In case one of your new to-dos is to explore working with a professional coach, this post is for you.
Confession: Pre-2018, I was a huge skeptic. So huge that I want to put huge in all caps but I don’t really want to yell at you.
My inner dialogue:
Pfft. Professional coach? Like a life coach? What does that even mean?! How can some stranger help me figure my life out – aren’t I in the best position to do that? Why would I pay someone to do something I can best do myself? And what does it say about me that I need one?
And now, in 2021 – after working with a coach for about three years:
I. Am. A. Believer.
Personally, having a professional coach has helped me gain clarity about who I am, what I want and why, has empowered me to seek fulfillment instead of chasing “perfection,” and has provided me the knowledge, tools and accountability backed by neuroscience to get me there.
Sound too good to be true?
I thought so too – until I found the right one, approached them with a specific ask/goal in mind, and importantly — did the work.
But before I share my tips on how to successfully work with a professional coach, it might be helpful to explain how I moved past my initial skepticism to the extent you might have any.
First, my initial leaning that professional coaching was mumbo jumbo — made up of professionals who couldn’t “hack it” in their real career turned into advice-dispensaries — akin to someone selling me snake oil to cure all my ailments — was woefully misplaced. My apologies to my coach and all the coaches out there for thinking this in the first place.
Contrary to my biases, the industry is legit. I didn’t realize this as a baby lawyer, but many companies (and sometimes law firms) pay for professional or leadership coaches to develop their executive leadership. I mean, if it’s good enough for the CEO of any Fortune 500 Company, who am I to think that I couldn’t benefit from a bit of help?
Second, I have had personal (physical) training a few times in my life, and looking back to when I committed to doing the work, my health (and vainly, physical appearance) was transformed. So why was I willing to pay someone to show me how to work out when I arguably could Google, Pinterest, YouTube it myself for free? Well, it came down to time and efficiency. Sure, I could spend a lot of time researching the latest and greatest on physical health and nutrition and develop my own plans OR as a busy attorney, pay someone to just tell me what to do based on all THEIR research and time and all I have to do is show up and do what I’m told. Yes, please!
So that’s the same with professional coaching. Granted this is just my personal experience, but my coach is certified, he is constantly reading and learning and thinking about the latest research and trends in neuroscience, and I get the benefit of him personalizing a plan for little ‘ole me. I just have to show up and be ready to do the work (and compensate him, of course).
This analogy is probably the same with financial planning or having a personal accountant. If you have time and interest and aptitude – by all means, do it all yourself. But if you’re a busy attorney, with billables and the financial resources to delegate to experts, I’m personally all for that.
Once you’ve decided to give coaching a try, here are a few tips on how to successfully work with a professional coach:
- Know Your Why
Problem-solving 101 – you have to define your problem so you can solve it. To bust another myth about coaching, having one is not like having a fairy godmother who will just figure our life out and fix you with a wave of a magic wand. And if that’s what’s being advertised to you, I’d be a bit wary.
Rather, it’s important to have an idea of what you want to work on. Maybe it’s leadership or communication. Perhaps it is public speaking or business development. And you may actually have more than one thing you want to work on.
My “push” was an annual review. I received feedback that I needed to work on my gravitas, my executive presence. Although I was nodding profusely when I received the feedback from my boss in my review, I actually had no idea what those words meant, much less how to “work on” them. That was my initial why, but since then – my coach and I have worked on confidence, managing conflict, overcoming my imposter syndrome, among other things.
Of course, I recognize that you may not know if you need to work on anything. While I can’t speak for all coaches, I have known many that have some kind of diagnostic exercise to help you figure it out.
2. Find the Right Fit
As with hiring any professional, finding the right fit is important. There are niches. Once you figure out what you want to work on, I’d recommend asking your network for referrals as well as doing some old fashioned research. Some questions you may want to consider:
- How long have you been coaching?
- How would you describe your style? What do you base your coaching philosophy on?
- Do you have any certifications?
- Do you have any clients I could call as references?
- What would you describe as your niche or expertise, if you had one?
Many coaches usually offer a complimentary consultation to see if you are a good fit. Here is where I recommend sharing your why and maybe asking what the professional recommends as an initial plan or program and associated costs.
It may go without saying but it’s important to spend time here to ask for what you want and need. For example, with my current coach, he has a set program on his website but at the time, I couldn’t commit and asked if he had any “al a carte” options. I also shared that I’m a person who needs homework, that if I didn’t have any tangible work product, I’ll think that I just retained him to vent.
A bit of a warning here: I personally take the view that coaching is not a replacement for therapy with a mental health professional. I was so impressed with my coach when he led with that in our first call. Then again, I did share my huge skepticism with him from the very beginning.
3. Commit.
Ok, this may seem super obvious, but knowing us lawyers and our tendency to push our own development to the bottom of the to-do list to chase more billables or put out more client fires (real or created), this is important to note. Beyond the trial, once you choose a coach to work with, start small but commit to a chunk of time – 6 months to a year and try to stick to it. Meaningful change takes time – success isn’t achieved in a one and done.
The first year I worked with my coach, I was clear that I could only meet quarterly because as a new mom of two, I needed more energy to figure out keeping a newborn and a toddler alive. The second year, I met with him every other month. And this last year, it was every month.
You also have to commit to doing the work – the reflection, the exercises, the homework or else it’s not going to be successful and you’ll create this self-fulfilling prophecy that exploring coaching was a waste of your time.
-Originally posted on Attorney At Work – January 2021
